Understanding Vs Admiration

"I write from my knowledge not my lack, from my strength not my weakness. I am not interested if anyone knows whether or not I am familiar with big words, I am interested in trying to render big ideas in a simple way. I am interested in being understood not admired." - Lucille Clifton, poet

I have always wanted to be understood.  In fact, for most of my younger years and into my adulthood, I felt as if I was fighting a losing battle.  The harder I tried to be understood, the worse it got.  And, all of this was triggered by my overriding need to be liked by everybody.  Needless to say, it took its toll on me and I began to lose myself in the process.

I've learned over the years that I actually have knowledge, strength, and big ideas but I never gave myself any credit for these assets.  I was my own worst critic and couldn't seem to stop.  So, my solution was to look for gratification from others.  If I wasn't getting praise from friends or family all of the time, I began to pout, whine, or complain.  I was constantly looking for people to fix me and make me feel better.  I'm here to tell you that this doesn't work.

Today, I share from my heart.  I speak about my own personal experiences and I am as honest as possible when doing so.  I know that no one can take these experiences away from me and I know them best because they happened to me. There are lessons I've learned the hard way and my goal is to share that with others so they won't have to experience the pain that I did as I was struggling with life on a daily basis.  I like how Ms. Clifton mentions "big ideas in a simple way".  That's my goal - to present my thoughts in a simple way for all to relate to in some way.

I now understand being able to share from knowledge rather than lack.  I am so grateful today.