Friendship

"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand." - Ella Wheeler Wilcox, nineteenth-century poet

After reading this quote, I am visualizing the mansion shifting and moving around in a dangerous way. Friendships allow me to get to know a person, really know a person. Deeper connections can develop as the friendship grows. It can only make the love for each other stronger.

I used to be someone who jumped into relationships without getting to know the person first. There would be red flags flying around but I would ignore them completely. Had I pursued a friendship with these men first, I would have been able to save myself some heartache. There are certain behaviors that just aren't acceptable to me. After initially becoming friends, both people can determine if a love relationship would even be feasible. If someone is behaving in an unacceptable way, there's no point in trying to build a life together. I didn't realize this years ago.

I've learned this lesson though. I can still be friends with men without pursuing a closer relationship. I understand today that it isn't fair to either party to try to "force" something to happen. Today I am grateful that I've learned to have fun getting to know people first before entering into a committed relationship. It's a blessing to live and learn.