Across The Room

"You see the woman across the room, you think, She's so poised; she's so together. But she looks at you and you are the woman across the room for her." - Diane von Furstenberg, fashion designer

I cannot help but smile when I read this quote. There have been many times when I have attended a gathering and admired someone from afar, feeling slightly jealous because they appeared to be comfortable in their own skin. I've often caught myself presuming that every one's insides must match their outsides. Therefore, if I see a person who dresses nicely and appears self-confident, I usually decide, without any facts to back up my opinions, that they have the perfect life. This kind of thinking does not work well and I have had to learn to change these kind of thoughts in order to allow the truth to come forth.

The truth is that appearances can be deceiving. It never occurred to me that someone might be thinking I was poised or confident. That's because I never felt poised. I usually felt scattered, unorganized, and/or disheveled. I know that I am not an objective judge of "me". I tend to beat myself up a little too much. My friends help me when I start to become too self-critical. They remind me to stop and put the "stick" away. Feelings are not facts and I know now that appearances really aren't the whole story.

So, what is the lesson here? It is we are all valuable human beings with many wonderful assets. Other people usually see our assets before we do. Today I will not judge by appearances but I will focus on the assets of everyone I meet without needing to feel envious of their circumstances. Today I will treat myself and all those I meet with the compassion that is deserved.