Building My Identity

"Identity is not found, the way Pharaoh's daughter found Moses in the bulrushes. Identity is built." - Margaret Halsey, writer

Identity is defined as "the distinguishing character or personality of an individual" according to Webster's Dictionary. I had a very difficult time for many years trying to determine what my identity should be. I kept trying to mold my personality to match the personalities of my friends and family. I was never comfortable just being myself. It was a perplexing and painful problem and one that almost got the best of me.

Once I realized that I could never make everyone in my life happy all at the same time, I felt lost and confused. I always tried to be what I thought they wanted me to be. I did that for so many years that I lost myself and realized, almost too late, that I had no idea who I really was or what I really liked. It took me awhile to recognize this problem and then it took me even longer to figure out what to do about it. I truly had no idea of where to begin.

Somehow, some way, I was able to pick up little clues about what I truly liked and disliked. These little revelations gave me the confidence to ask myself what I really wanted to do with my life. Each day now I'm learning more about myself and I'm on a path of discovery that has turned out to be exciting and enriching.

Fear no longer keeps me from asking myself questions and giving myself time to truly answer them in order to build my identity. This will be a lifetime project. And that's a good thing.

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K Kerswig, Certified Recovery Coach