Surprise!

"Who I really am keeps surprising me." - Nikki Giovanni, poet, essayist, and lecturer

I don't have any idea when this was said, but I think she was talking about me! The journey I'm on now is astounding to me but I'm moving forward anyway!

I remember a time when friends would tell me that I just needed to pursue whatever made me happy in life. The problem was I never actually knew what made me happy. I was so busy trying to be everything to everybody that I never took the time to find out about me. I wasn't willing to put myself out there and share my opinions on anything. I let other people choose the movies we would go see, the restaurants we would eat at, and the parties we would attend. I ended up isolating quite a bit because it was easier being alone than it was to put on a "happy" face during an event that I didn't want to attend. I became very lonely as a result of this isolation but I didn't know what else to do.

Things have changed for me now. I no longer isolate. I've learned (from some dear friends of mine) that I can state my opinion or my choice and they will still be my friends, even if they disagree with me. I've learned that it's okay to have a voice, as long as my voice carries compassion and respect for those around me. I'm learning who I am every day and, truthfully, I am surprised at some of the things I've found out about myself. All is well, God loves me, and life is wonderful. Thank you God for this opportunity to keep on growing and learning about who I am.